Conflict
James 4:1-7
“When Conflict Gets the Best of Us”
INTRO
We all live with discord
- To be alive means to be in conflict - people fight - families fight
- Fights that can sometimes be over big things - needs in a relationship, behaviors that create hurt
- Sometimes over trivial things
Illustration:
the story of Danny Thomas - who got upset and fired 6 shots into MacDonald's after they messed up his hamburger order
Even in the church - we can fight
- We can say damaging things - we can provoke, be mean-spirited
- Here in James, it is apparent that this early church was embroiled in conflict
- Ugly conflict - the sort that spilled over into harsh, anti-social behavior - careless speech
- So what was behind it?
1 - WHAT IS BEHIND OUR CONFLICTS?
- James is asking this question – vs.1a
- From whence comes your conflicts - your acrimonious speech, your condescending words, your ungodly treatment, your abuse of one another?
James goes back to the headwaters - the source - of most conflict - whether it be marital, sibling conflict, corporate friction, church arguments – vss.1b-3
Behind their unmet needs, their frustrated desires
- Their anger strong enough to kill
- Is the same thing that is behind ours – SELF-CENTEREDNESS
Larry Crabb - in his chapter - what's wrong with our marriage?
- Makes the point that it is not the wounds we carry that is the first order of business
- It is this stubborn, pervasive, subtle commitment to ourselves
- Poor communication, anger, unhealthy responses, incompatibility - it all flows out of the cesspool of self-centeredness
We should not be surprised - selfishness is deeply entrenched in all of us - the result of a sinful nature - a fault line that runs from Adam to us
- That corrupts our capacities - thought, emotion, speech
- So that they become centers of attack
- This nature displaces God's lordship for ours
- As Plantinga puts it - like a neurotic little god, the heart keeps ending discussions by insisting it wants what it wants
2 - WHAT WILL BE THE CONSEQUENCES IF THE FIGHTING DOES NOT STOP?
- Most of know the answer
- Divorce, ending of fellowship, loss of friendships - emotional and (sometimes) physical pain
- But James again goes beyond the surface - goes deeper
- To focus on the spiritual damage
A - SPIRITUAL ADULTERY – vs.4
- James reminds us that the sin of hurting each other has first and finally a Godward force
- It is something we all too often forget -- that all sin is essentially an affront to God and His will
- Which amounts to a form of unfaithfulness
- Conflict - driven by self-centeredness - ends up putting love of self over love of God
But it is more
- We have chosen to imitate the world - and the way it deals with differences, irritants, disagreements
- This was Paul's point in I Cor 3:3 - "For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you - ARE YOU NOT WORLDLY?"
- Have you not lost your distinctiveness?
- Have you not been unfaithful to God?
But there is more - our fighting amounts to…
B - TRIVIALIZING THE SPIRIT
- Taking lightly His power, His claims on us, His will for us – vs.5
- And what is that will - what is it God jealously desires to do within us?
- Isn't it to pour Himself through us?
- Release His indwelling power
- The power that can heal souls of their deepest wounds
- Mend broken hearts
- Overcome the damage due to abusive backgrounds
- Encourage the depressed to move forward
- Revitalize discouraged spirits
- James is typically pointed
- But he is simply underscoring the mindlessness of saints who war with one another
Illustration:
- Grand Canyon - an attorney gets lost, and his expensive car breaks
down in the worst possible street in an inner city
- He phones for a tow truck - but before it comes - 5 terrifying youth surround him and threaten to do some pretty awful things
- And then the tow truck driver shows up - a pretty tough guy
- Who takes the gang aside and says - MAN, THE WORLD AIN'T
SUPPOSED TO WORK LIKE THIS
- I'm supposed to do my job without asking you if I can
- That dude is supposed to be able to wait with his car without you ripping him off
- Everything is supposed to be different than it is here
This is what James was saying to them
- This is what God is saying to those of us that tend to live with lots of conflict
3 - IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR PEACE?
- Any way out of our tendency to hurt each other?
- Vs.6 tells us there is
- God grace is greater
- Greater than our sin
- Greater than our mess
- Grace that can take on our self-centeredness and renounce it and relinquish it
- Grace that can bring real change - enable us to be other centered
- That can reconcile hearts
We need His grace - because we cannot overcome our conflicts and our self-centeredness - no matter our hard work and good intentions
- But it is not automatic
4 - WHAT IS GOD CALLING US TO DO?
- The hardest thing any of us are called to do
- Humble ourselves - for grace is only given to the humble – vs.6b
- God's grace is free - but not automatic
- It is conditional to our willingness to humble ourselves - which James now fleshes out
- It means first of that we…
A - SUBMIT TO GOD – vs.7a
- Arrange under - not over
- This is our first and most important act of humility
- Exchanging our governance for His
- Submitting to His Lordship and not to our own
- It means surrendering to Jesus
- Moving from self-centeredness to God-centeredness
- Letting Him have the final word
At the same time - the heart has a second responsibility-
B - RESIST THE ENEMY – vs.7b
- "Stand against" - an admonition repeated in other places - I Pet 5:9; Eph
6:13
- For demonic fingerprints are on just about all of our conflicts
- The evil one's great desire is to destroy our peace - ruin our relationships - starting with the home, and moving quickly to our spiritual community
- Forces unseen, supernatural - that have lined up to take inject poisonous thoughts - play on our pride - induce conflict
- It is here James clarifies WHO OUR FIGHT MUST BE WITH
- This is our principal fight
So BE ON THE ALERT - APPROACH EACH DAY WITH AN
AWARENESS OF WAR
- Approach each conflict with an awareness he is there
- And so STAND AGAINST HIM --
Why?
1 - BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN DEFEATED IN THE PAST
- I John 3:8 - the Son of Man appeared - that He might destroy the works of the devil
2 - BECAUSE HE CAN BE DEFEATED IN THE PRESENT
- In light of the Cross and the Resurrection of Jesus
- The devil can --
- Persuade - but he Cannot Force
- Deceive - but he has Not the Power to Control
- Tempt - but he Cannot Coerce
- Accost - but he Cannot Destroy
- Hence --
- When we resist - he must flee - because we fight with the best of help
And why must we?
BECAUSE COMMUNITY, UNITY, MATTERS TO GOD
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